Imagine that your supervisor sends you a brief message: “Can we talk when you have a minute?” There is no explanation. No additional context. Within seconds, the spiral can begin: “Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe they are unhappy with my work. Maybe I am about to lose my job.”
By the time the conversation happens, you may have replayed every recent interaction, reviewed your work repeatedly, and prepared yourself for the worst. Then you learn that your supervisor only wanted to ask a routine question. Many of us know this feeling. Anxiety can take a small amount of uncertainty and quickly fill in the blanks with the most frightening explanations.
Before we realize what is happening, a single thought can spark a much larger reaction. Our hearts may begin racing. Our muscles may tighten. We may replay the situation repeatedly, ask others for reassurance, or avoid doing anything that might make the anxiety worse.
When a situation or thought activates anxiety, avoiding it can feel like the safest and most reasonable choice. Someone experiencing social anxiety may decline invitations. A person concerned about panic symptoms may stop driving or exercising. Someone afraid of making the wrong decision may delay making any decision. In the moment, avoidance can feel like relief.
I sometimes think of anxiety as an overprotective alarm system. It is trying to keep us safe, but it may sound the alarm even when there is no immediate danger. So, how do we begin turning down that alarm? One approach that may help is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
Cognitive behavioral therapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on the connections among our thoughts, emotions, physical reactions, and behaviors. In everyday life, these parts of our experience often affect one another. A thought can influence how we feel. A feeling can influence what we do. What we do next can then reinforce the original thought. CBT helps us slow this process down. It gives us an opportunity to notice automatic thoughts, understand how those thoughts affect us, and consider whether there may be another way to respond (NIH, 2024).
When I describe CBT, I often think of it as creating a little more space between a thought and a reaction. Instead of immediately believing, “Something terrible is happening,” we learn to pause and ask: “What do I actually know right now?” This does not mean that a therapist incorporating CBT techniques will tell you to “just think positively,” because that may avoid the reality of the situation at hand. CBT also does not assume that every uncomfortable thought is wrong. Sometimes our concerns are valid. Life can be painful, unpredictable, and stressful. The purpose is not to pretend that everything is fine. The purpose is to examine whether our interpretation is based on facts or an opinion.
For example, imagine that you make a mistake while giving a presentation at work. Your immediate thought might be: “Everyone noticed. They probably think I am incompetent.” That thought may lead to embarrassment, tension, rapid heartbeat, and a desire to avoid future presentations. A more balanced response might be: “I made one mistake, but I corrected it and completed the presentation. I learned from it and will improve my work accordingly, moving forward. One uncomfortable moment does not define my ability.”
The second response is not unrealistically positive. It simply takes the situation into account rather than allowing the most frightening interpretation to become the only perspective. It is not a guarantee to stop the anxiety, but with enough utilization and therapeutic guidance of these CBT tools, one can learn to confront the fears that the anxiety is rooted in. This can lead to long-term change where anxiety does not have to be a debilitating part of one’s life anymore.
Anxiety disorders involve more than occasional worry or fear. Left unaddressed, the anxiety may continue over time to worsen or interfere with work, school, relationships, or routine activities. They can be based on irrational thoughts rather than logical and rational ones. An anxious state of being puts our emotions in the driver’s seat, leaving most of our logical skills in the rearview mirror. Psychotherapy, particularly CBT, can help bring logic back into the driver’s seat. The goal is to recognize that discomfort does not necessarily lead to disaster and that we may be better able to cope than our anxious thoughts suggest.
CBT may involve developing small, realistic steps for approaching situations we have been avoiding. This does not mean forcing yourself into the most frightening situation immediately. A thoughtful therapist will work collaboratively with you. The steps should reflect your needs, your history, your pace, and the life you are trying to build.
Experiencing anxiety does not automatically mean that you have an anxiety disorder. A qualified mental health professional can evaluate your symptoms, circumstances, and treatment needs. You also do not need a formal diagnosis to benefit from support. Therapy may be worth considering whenever anxiety begins making your life feel more difficult to navigate.
At Avedian Counseling Center, our group of Los Angeles-based clinicians understands that anxiety can affect much more than your thoughts. Our therapists support clients experiencing excessive worry, panic symptoms, social anxiety, avoidance, and other anxiety-related concerns. We take great importance in finding the right specialist for you, because the specific therapeutic support you can receive from a therapist is paramount to your healing journey.
You do not have to wait until everything feels overwhelming. To learn more or request a consultation, call (818) 383-1399.
Disclaimer: This article is intended for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individualized mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified professional.
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Avedian Counseling Center. “Counseling for Anxiety.” avediancounselingcenter.com/services/anxiety/
National Institute of Mental Health (NIH). “Anxiety Disorders” and “Psychotherapies,” 2024. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/psychotherapies https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders
Annette Semerdjian is the Client Experience & Marketing Coordinator at Anger Management 818. She is a multi-media journalist and administrative professional who spends her free time volunteering at animal shelters and writing poetry.
