What are anxious thoughts?
Anxious thoughts consist of worrisome thoughts or fears that thrive in uncertainty. “What if” types of thoughts and scenarios often come to mind whenever we feel overwhelmed or are trying to regain control of something that feels outside our control or unpredictable. A key point to remember about anxious thoughts is that not every thought is factual, as it is mostly stemming from irrational fears. Additionally, anxiety is not something we can ever “get rid of,” rather, learn techniques and ways to manage it.
Examples of “What if” thoughts:
“What if that doesn’t go as planned?”
“What if I say the wrong thing?”
“What if I fail this exam?”
“What if my partner is cheating on me?”
“What if I have a panic attack in public?”
Why do I have “What if” thoughts?
Our brains cannot always distinguish between a real threat and a perceived threat. When it perceives you are in danger, it will jump into survival mode and predict “what if” thoughts to keep you safe and feeling like you are in control of the outcome. However, it tends to keep you in an anxious spiral, and the coping strategy defense mechanisms start to form, subconsciously. For example, this may manifest as avoidance of a situation, emotional distress, overanalyzing or catastrophizing a situation, and/or impacting important areas of functioning, such as sleep, appetite, and decision-making abilities.
What can I do about my anxious thoughts? What techniques can I use?
Try this today:
“Even if” versus “What If” thought reframe – try to reframe your “what if” thought with one that builds resilience rather than focuses on controlling an outcome. This technique is a compassion-focused way to reframe an anxious thought process.
For example, reframe would look like:
What if I say something dumb → Even if I do, it still doesn’t define my worth.
What if I have a panic attack → Even if I do, I know it will pass as it has before.
What if I fail or mess up → Even if I do, I can learn from it and try again.
Try this today:
Postpone your anxious thoughts – It can be helpful to keep a log or write down your worrisome thoughts. Then, set aside a specific time or window for you to do all your worrying (i.e., 10-15 minutes/ day), and only think about those thoughts during that window. If you find yourself thinking about your anxious thoughts outside of that window, simply pause, take a breath, and remind yourself that you have scheduled time to worry later.
This technique is helpful as it teaches your brain to follow boundaries that you set. When anxious thoughts come up, instead of self-criticism or getting yourself to stop the thoughts in general, it sends a message to your brain that it is heard and will get the time it needs. When your window is up, it is helpful to implement a grounding exercise to help you relax and send a message to your brain that worry time is over. You can go for a walk in nature, take some deep breaths, or tap into your senses (3 things I see, 2 things I hear, 1 thing I touch).
Overall, having self-compassion is essential when having anxious thoughts because it creates a non-judgmental environment for you to do the work and begin the healing process. Practice responding to your thoughts with kindness and encouraging words.
If you’re looking for further assistance, seek therapeutic help for your emotional and mental well-being. At Avedian Counseling Center, we have professionals ready to assist you in navigating the challenges of working through difficult emotions and physical sensations, such as anxiety. To learn more about our services and receive support, reach out today to pave the way toward your growth.
Rita Akhian, AMFT#142256 is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist at Avedian Counseling Center offering individual, couples, and family therapy in Sherman Oaks and Glendale. Rita works under the licensed supervision of Chrys Gkotsi, LMFT #113638.
