It is normal for couples to have their conflicts and ups and downs. In fact, conflict can be healthy when it is managed effectively. Conflict is unhealthy when it consists of yelling, put-downs, or criticism. Experiencing misunderstandings and periods of stress are a healthy part of being in a relationship. However, some couples may begin to notice unhealthy patterns where they begin to think to themselves, “this is just not working”. Some signs of this are feeling emotionally exhausted, more irritable, and misunderstood.
Sometimes, communication may begin to feel like you are going in circles, arguing about the same things while still feeling misunderstood. This is a frustrating part of the dynamic and may lead to more frequent arguments. When conflict is left unrepaired, it can continue to disrupt the relationship and may even contribute to increased feelings of anxiety or depression. Unresolved or unspoken issues may be avoided or brushed aside, only to resurface more intensely. This gets confusing for the relationship because it is filled with tension or a feeling like you are walking on eggshells around your partner.
It is not what you say, but rather how you say it
Oftentimes, it is not only what is being said, but the tone or manner in which it is said that sparks conflict. At the same time, conflict can also arise from what is being heard and how it is interpreted in that moment. For example, one partner may be expressing their needs, while the other perceives it as criticism or blame, leading them to shut down, withdraw, or stonewall. This could be due to feeling overwhelmed, which in turn leaves the other partner feeling dismissed.
Emotional Distance and Broken Trust
Couples may experience emotional distance due to ongoing arguments and recurring disagreements. Couples may notice less affection, attention, or quality time together. Most of the time, this is described as feeling like “roommates”. Sometimes this type of distance and misattunement develops gradually, while at other times it develops rapidly. Regardless of the pace, it can leave couples feeling isolated and disconnected, making it harder to rebuild trust and closeness over time.
Over time, when communication feels strained and emotional distance grows, trust within the relationship can begin to weaken. Rebuilding that trust can feel difficult without a strong foundation to support the process. Couples therapy offers a safe and supportive space where both partners can explore their underlying feelings, better understand one another, and begin rebuilding a foundation of trust as they work together toward how they want to move forward.
Couples Therapy for Professional Support
If you’re looking for further assistance in your relationship, seek therapeutic help for your emotional and mental well-being. At Avedian Counseling Center, we have professionals ready to help you navigate relationship challenges. To learn more about our couples therapy and family counseling services and receive support, reach out today to pave the way toward your growth.
Rita Akhian, AMFT#142256, is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist at Avedian Counseling Center, offering individual, couples, and family therapy in Sherman Oaks, Glendale, and Pasadena. Rita works under the licensed supervision of Chrys Gkotsi, LMFT #113638.
Rita Akhian, AMFT#142256 is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist at Avedian Counseling Center offering individual, couples, and family therapy in Sherman Oaks and Glendale. Rita works under the licensed supervision of Chrys Gkotsi, LMFT #113638.
