How Can I Practice Self-Acceptance? 

Embracing Self-Love!

When one begins the process of personal growth the self-help language of “self-love” and “self-acceptance” seem to be inescapable. It isn’t just because these terminologies hold up well on the bookshelves, they are truly important aspects of learning how to relate to yourself and others, cheesiness aside. These concepts of mental and emotional health hold specific meaning and wide-reaching implications for one’s self-esteem and overall well-being. Today’s post will be directly exploring the nuances that exist between these often interchanged words, so we invite you to join us, as we explore the ways in which you can start implementing these practices and shifting your mindset. 

What is Self Acceptance? 

Self-acceptance is a core tenant of inner peace and mental resilience. It works towards helping one to embrace all aspects of themselves spanning from the flaws, to unique strengths, imperfections, and corky aspects of your personality, without judgment. At its essence, self-acceptance is the recognition that no one is perfect and that self-worth is not about meeting some idealistic standard, but embracing yourself in the present moment. 

Three Steps to Self-Acceptance:

1. **Acknowledging imperfections:** This is the process of accepting that everyone struggles with something and embracing these ‘flaws’ as part of the distinctness of your individuality. We all have corky, annoying, off-putting ( to some extent) habits or qualities. To be human is to be imperfect, each imperfection adds a story, and this is a reminder that those stories come together to forge someone uniquely intriguing. 
2. **Releasing the inner critic:** Self-acceptance calls for letting go of the part of us that is quick to judge ourselves and others harshly, and replacing it with the neutral. To begin this process it is vital to acknowledge that the critical voice isn’t you. One way to help solidify this is to give that voice a name, get curious about what that voice might look like, and notice whether it has a specific energy that lets you know it’s present. To start to de-identify with its harshness you first need to be able to embrace it as a separate entity. Next time it pays a visit, recognize that it is there and get curious about what it might need to give you some space and bring in another perspective that isn’t so doom and gloom. 
3. **Authenticity:** By embracing ourselves we are creating space for our authentic voice to be shared, allowing us to forge a life that is in alignment with our desires and values. It can be difficult to accept yourself if the way you are showing up in the world doesn’t reflect the type of person you truly want to be. So take this as both a reminder and an invitation to show up and take up space. Your unique voice matters and there is immense value to discovering how you want to use it. 

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean that you are settling in this life. Many fear that without the pressure of their inner critic, they might never get anything done. Alas, shame, the driver of a poor self-image tends to be emotionally flooding, while self-acceptance cultivates a solid foundation where one’s personal growth, self-exploration, and relationships can thrive. 

What is Self Love? 

Self-love is an altogether different task than acceptance, it is the welcoming and unconditional regard of oneself. It is the process of treating oneself with respect, compassion, and kindness, a type of love that is typically reserved for close loved ones. Self-acceptance tends to be about creating space to see more of the reality at hand while self-love is the active practice of taking care of your well-being. 

What are Three Ways to Strengthen Self-Love?

1. **Self-Compassion:** It calls for the offering of the warmth and care that we tend to reserve for our friends and loved ones. Self-love calls for us to develop the ability to meet ourselves from the kind perspective of a compassionate friend. Let’s face it, when our friends make mistakes there is often a tendency to be much kinder and more understanding of their blunders. Self-acceptance often starts to expand when you take the time to slow down and see your mistakes from the similar perspective of a good friend. Recognizing that you are trying your best with the tools you have and that the mistakes along the way are teaching opportunities. 
2. **Setting Boundaries:** Genuinely caring for yourself is intertwined with the ability to both acknowledge and honor your needs for healthy boundaries in relationships, at work, and truly anywhere they are called for. Oftentimes it can feel scary or overwhelming to try and introduce boundaries if that language is not something you have been exposed to, but like they always tell us on the plane you have to make sure your oxygen mask is on before you offer help to those around you. Another helpful perspective shift is to start to recognize boundaries not as walls to keep people out, but as an invitation for someone to come to understand how to care for you well. So I ask you what invitations might you want to start sending to those around you?
3. **Self Care:** Partaking in activities that relax and recharge the body, mind, and soul. Self-care can consist of committing to morning walks, home-cooked meals, and setting aside quality time with friends and family. It is the cultivation and consistency of maintaining time in the day that is centered around your well-being. Life has a tendency of zooming by so it can be hard to find the time for exercising, cultivating hobbies, or simply taking the time to intentionally rest. However, you can build up your awareness of your self-love through the implementation of self-trust, and trust that you are able to make time for yourself because you are worth it. 

We are like plants, we do well when our basic needs are met and we tend to thrive when people talk nicely to us, ESPECIALLY if that person is us. Try it out for yourself. See what your next week is like when you allow yourself the same kindness you bestow your best friends. 

Four strategies for self-love and self-acceptance:

1. **Practice Mindfulness:** Developing a non-judgemental awareness around the processes that direct your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors creates space for you to be able to slow down. Mindfulness is the ability to perceive yourself with compassion and curiosity which cultivates acceptance and love.
2. **Challenge Negative Self-Talk:** When the inner critic and self-defeating thoughts arise, challenge them with a different perspective based on consideration and kindness. Finding supportive affirmations that work towards bolstering your inherent potential and worth can also be helpful to lean into when criticism arises. 
3. **Seek Support:** Creating a life where self-acceptance and self-love flourish is part of the process of working to cultivate a community of supportive friends, mentors, family, and/or a counselor that you trust has your best interest in mind. Humans are social animals and finding those who can offer reliable guidance and care during the turbulent times of life is one of the greatest acts of self-care to be taken. 
4. **Celebrate Progress:** There is immense value in taking the time to celebrate and recognize your accomplishments along the way of your self-discovery journey. Every step you take towards implementing more compassion and presence in your life is a victory worth basking in. 

Self-love and acceptance aren’t luxuries, they are a necessity. The way we care for ourselves and embrace our imperfections impacts how we interact with the world around us. By cultivating self-acceptance and self love you can create authentic inner peace and a relationship to your resilience. In a world that often challenges our worth, there is immense beauty in taking up space with your authentic self. The path to self-discovery and growth is one that spans continuously, but with practice and patience, you can navigate it with steady grace and kindness. 

If you would like to work on your self-esteem, build confidence,  and work on a journey toward self-love and acceptance, be sure to contact our center today for more information about therapy. At Avedian Counseling Center, we offer individual therapy at our Sherman Oaks, Glendale, and Woodland Hills locations. We also offer telehealth services for individuals in California.